In miworld it was time for my 15 year old son Martin to take some responsibility for household chores so I decided a good place to start would be the dishes. We have a dishwasher so how hard could it be? Fill it, start it and empty it.
Then the fun began.
Martin decided it was not a fun job and was well named chore! He always had something to do and I inevitably emptied or filled it ‘for him’. He chipped away, chip, chip, chip. All too often there were dirty dishes on the worktop because the clean ones were still in the dishwasher.
He did it sometimes but sorry sometimes wasn’t good enough for me. Chip.
Then one day I decided enough is enough, I would leave the dishes for him and not let the pile ups worry me. So there were dirty dishes on the worktop and some in the sink as well.
Then I realised how messy the kitchen looked so I asked Martin to come down the stairs and sort the dishes – which he did.
After emptying the dishwasher, he filled it with the dishes that were on the worktop.
He left the others in the sink. Chip Chip Chip
When I commented that the dishes were in the sink he said he only dealt with the ones that were on the worktop – that was the moment the Dragon Snapped!
I gently threw the dishes out of the sink onto the worktop and shouted they were there now! I was raging and angry with me for letting it get to this point.
On reflection I was angry with myself because he didn’t do what I wanted him to do.
Why should he? He’s done nothing for the past 15 years and he has a bedroom to keep untidy and a game that always needs to go up a level or be played with, with his mates. He likes to get his own way and I know where he gets that from!!
I was reminded of the story of Ghandi when he lied to his Dad about where he had been and his Dad then walked 20 miles home wondering how he had failed as a father to make his son feel he could not tell him the truth. Ghandi learnt a lot more that day that he would of if his dad had yelled or hit him.
Well Jane Quinn, you are not Ghandi’s Dad and you are doing your best. Martin is a growing lad who is transforming from a kid into an adult and needs your help and support. And as for the dishes, well sometimes in life you just don’t get your own way – and as an adult you are well aware of that.
Interestingly since I broke my arm three weeks ago Martin has done the dishes, the washing and the shopping – with a smile on his face? No, but it has been for a grateful dragon!
Snap Dragon
In miworld it was time for my 15 year old son Martin to take some responsibility for household chores so I decided a good place to start would be the dishes. We have a dishwasher so how hard could it be? Fill it, start it and empty it.
Then the fun began.
Martin decided it was not a fun job and was well named chore! He always had something to do and I inevitably emptied or filled it ‘for him’. He chipped away, chip, chip, chip. All too often there were dirty dishes on the worktop because the clean ones were still in the dishwasher.
He did it sometimes but sorry sometimes wasn’t good enough for me. Chip.
Then one day I decided enough is enough, I would leave the dishes for him and not let the pile ups worry me. So there were dirty dishes on the worktop and some in the sink as well.
Then I realised how messy the kitchen looked so I asked Martin to come down the stairs and sort the dishes – which he did.
After emptying the dishwasher, he filled it with the dishes that were on the worktop.
He left the others in the sink. Chip Chip Chip
When I commented that the dishes were in the sink he said he only dealt with the ones that were on the worktop – that was the moment the Dragon Snapped!
I gently threw the dishes out of the sink onto the worktop and shouted they were there now! I was raging and angry with me for letting it get to this point.
On reflection I was angry with myself because he didn’t do what I wanted him to do.
Why should he? He’s done nothing for the past 15 years and he has a bedroom to keep untidy and a game that always needs to go up a level or be played with, with his mates. He likes to get his own way and I know where he gets that from!!
I was reminded of the story of Ghandi when he lied to his Dad about where he had been and his Dad then walked 20 miles home wondering how he had failed as a father to make his son feel he could not tell him the truth. Ghandi learnt a lot more that day that he would of if his dad had yelled or hit him.
Well Jane Quinn, you are not Ghandi’s Dad and you are doing your best. Martin is a growing lad who is transforming from a kid into an adult and needs your help and support. And as for the dishes, well sometimes in life you just don’t get your own way – and as an adult you are well aware of that.
Interestingly since I broke my arm three weeks ago Martin has done the dishes, the washing and the shopping – with a smile on his face? No, but it has been for a grateful dragon!
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