I never cease to be amazed how cultures differ, and how something quite normal in one is completely alien in another. Or maybe it’s not the cultures that differ, but more the thoughts of the people based on their life experiences in their part of the world.
On a recent holiday in Sri Lanka we were honoured to be invited to the home of a Hindu family for dinner and we brought some small gifts to show our appreciation, which were gratefully received. In recognition of our culture, the family had bought two bottles of wine for the celebration and the girls gathered around us with their small glasses ready to party.
It’s not normal for Hindu girls to drink and I felt their excitement rise in anticipation as for some, it was their first taste of alcohol. The men left the room and we found a common language in music with the power and joy of dance and laughter that a group can create together helped by a shared glass of wine.
After some fun, we were invited through for dinner. My heart stopped when I saw the table set only for four. I’m not sure how many were in the home but it was close to twenty, while there were only four guests.
The hosts seated us, served us and stayed around to chat while we ate. Once the main meal was finished, they cleared away our plates and served us desert. I asked the one English speaking Sri Lankan why they didn’t join us at the table and was told that it was the local culture to make sure guests are well fed.
We have quite a different approach to hospitality here. We welcome guests into our homes and eat with them, coming together to enjoy the food served. I felt like I had been put on a pedestal, respected and served by a family who were celebrating our presence and I was surprised how uncomfortable I it made me feel which was absolutely not their intention at all.
I struggled to appreciate their kindness, humility and hospitality because I felt we had been separated, I felt that we now had different roles, where we were guests eating their food and they served us.
It was my western values clashing with their eastern traditions. I felt that when we had been dancing and enjoying ourselves we had been together as equals and now we had been separated and while I enjoyed the food, I would rather they had eaten alongside me.
This showing of hospitality was very alien to me and left me with a strange feeling that I didn’t like, because it confronted my sense of equality.
However, that is the way of their people and an incredibly generous hospitality it is.
I spent a long time on the journey home reflecting on how I felt. One of the joys I find in travelling is to experience the different cultures of the different peoples in different places in our world.
It’s up to me to accept that people brought up in Sri Lankan Hindu traditions will think differently to me, and some cultural differences may make me uncomfortable. Afterall, its one thing to experience cultural differences but quite something else appreciating them.
My heart goes out to them, their hospitality and their humility and I am glad for that time in the living room, where we danced and sipped wine together, that we did for a while come together as one.
Humbled by Hospitality
I never cease to be amazed how cultures differ, and how something quite normal in one is completely alien in another. Or maybe it’s not the cultures that differ, but more the thoughts of the people based on their life experiences in their part of the world.
On a recent holiday in Sri Lanka we were honoured to be invited to the home of a Hindu family for dinner and we brought some small gifts to show our appreciation, which were gratefully received. In recognition of our culture, the family had bought two bottles of wine for the celebration and the girls gathered around us with their small glasses ready to party.
It’s not normal for Hindu girls to drink and I felt their excitement rise in anticipation as for some, it was their first taste of alcohol. The men left the room and we found a common language in music with the power and joy of dance and laughter that a group can create together helped by a shared glass of wine.
After some fun, we were invited through for dinner. My heart stopped when I saw the table set only for four. I’m not sure how many were in the home but it was close to twenty, while there were only four guests.
The hosts seated us, served us and stayed around to chat while we ate. Once the main meal was finished, they cleared away our plates and served us desert. I asked the one English speaking Sri Lankan why they didn’t join us at the table and was told that it was the local culture to make sure guests are well fed.
We have quite a different approach to hospitality here. We welcome guests into our homes and eat with them, coming together to enjoy the food served. I felt like I had been put on a pedestal, respected and served by a family who were celebrating our presence and I was surprised how uncomfortable I it made me feel which was absolutely not their intention at all.
I struggled to appreciate their kindness, humility and hospitality because I felt we had been separated, I felt that we now had different roles, where we were guests eating their food and they served us.
It was my western values clashing with their eastern traditions. I felt that when we had been dancing and enjoying ourselves we had been together as equals and now we had been separated and while I enjoyed the food, I would rather they had eaten alongside me.
This showing of hospitality was very alien to me and left me with a strange feeling that I didn’t like, because it confronted my sense of equality.
However, that is the way of their people and an incredibly generous hospitality it is.
I spent a long time on the journey home reflecting on how I felt. One of the joys I find in travelling is to experience the different cultures of the different peoples in different places in our world.
It’s up to me to accept that people brought up in Sri Lankan Hindu traditions will think differently to me, and some cultural differences may make me uncomfortable. Afterall, its one thing to experience cultural differences but quite something else appreciating them.
My heart goes out to them, their hospitality and their humility and I am glad for that time in the living room, where we danced and sipped wine together, that we did for a while come together as one.
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